Before Getting Married Part 5

You cannot love others except you have given your life to Christ. No man can be a faithful husband if he has not given his life to Christ. Only God can compel the husband to love his wife and to love her unconditionally and love her all the time and love her all the days of his life. Only a man who has surrendered his life to
Christ can love others: can honour others, can respect others. And appreciate and celebrate them.
A humble man is a man who has forgotten who he is and says I am what I am by the grace of God. A woman who knows how to give thanks to God; nothing dies in her hands, because God will turn
her decomposed Lazarus into a recomposed Lazarus. Every family must be grateful to God for his many mercies, therefore when you appreciate God, your marriage will appreciate. When you celebrate God In your marriage, you become a celebrity. In marriage your face is the black board that the other person’s
reads while your heart is the black board that God reads; so you must learn to smile and have some moment of laughter. A man should make the wife laugh at least three times a day. Every family must learn how to invest in Gods project, because God will come back and invest in your life. Marriage should be a strong
cultivation of two people who are intimate friends. Friends that can step on another’s toes without removing their shine; friends when one has messed up, will still love themselves; friends that would not leave themselves even when everyone has abandoned; friends when they are in need, will give up everything
and make sure that in one accord needs are supplied; friends that will pray first for the other even before praying for himself. The bible calls it ‘A friend that is greater and better than a brother. Prov 27:10 . Men and brethren, responsibility is the price of greatness. No man is qualified to possess what he did not
pursue. A man who desires a beautiful woman must be ready to make her body shine 24 hours a day. The scripture expects us to befriend a covenant principle In ourmarriage and you will not depend on
others for help. “Now therefore, if you will indeed obey My voice and keep My covenant, then you shall be a special treasure to Me above all people”; Exodus 19:5 In the school of marriage, every solution begins with the gift of knowing ‘how’ because God created each and every one of us on purpose for a purpose; so none of us is an accident without a unique destiny. Therefore, when the battles of life gets tough, when the enemy blocks every access road against you, when the enemy hedges you in or aims you in, when you come to a place where you sit on a particular door and cry and that door remains lock; You must learn how to call
for reinforcement by raising a song Hear this “My husband would always advised us to pray for divine favour before stepping out of the house for it will automatically make the impossible possible. As a result, I have watched my husband enjoy some unbelievable favours. While attending a Pentecostal conference in Switzerland we ran short of funds. But as we ate one morning, a stranger who could not speak a word of English walked up to us and began to shout Hallelujah! Apparently that was a way of telling us he was a Christian. He handed over an envelope to my husband, it contained $2000” Pastor Mrs P. Uma
Therefore never despise what you do not understand because it takes more than one colour to make a rainbow. It is therefore time to combine your creative thinking to creative praying and creative doing because in your marriage, your red sea is about to be turn into a red carpet.

Dr Uma Ukpai

Before Getting Married Part 4

Men and brethren, you must deal with the weakness of your father’s house before you transfer it into your marriage. Realising that only the Holy Spirit can help us with our weakness. You must be prepared to love unconditionally. Begin from your own house, a man must love his wife. You must love your husband. Your husband may be the biggest idiot around you; the bible commands you to love him. Your wife may be the worst demon, but love her. Your love can change him or her. You must learn to be truthful in your marriage, don’t use one another’s weakness as a weapon of war when you have slight misunderstanding. Ask God for grace and wisdom to deal with every confusion and problems in your marriage. Every lie needs another lie to cover the first lie; therefore we must learn to be truthful, even when it hurts. Crisis most times strengthens relationship. It tells us that we are human. Our needs are not many, therefore as much as you can let us
live a simple life. There are things that are not beneficial even though we look for those things. Avoid whatever will lure you into sin, things that can cause depression in your marriage or gossips that can ruin a relationship. In all the battles we fight in life, you either win or lose in your mind. The mind is the ultimate source of creation. When you think about negative things, negative things will begin to happen in your life and marriage. When your partner makes you angry don’t dwell on that anger. In marriage we must
cultivate the habit of saying SORRY, PLEASE and THANK you.Until you appreciate your partner, your marriage and life will not appreciate. When your husband comes suddenly and call you stupid, remind him that you were so stupid and that was why you married him. You must find a way to communicate your
feelings without creating confusion. In my days as a single preacher, after witnessing the power of God, the girl who invited me to that service said to me no other girl would marry you but me and if you say no
I will shoot you and shoot myself. So I was forced to go into one month fast, wanting to escape that trap and God delivered me. God showed me my wife in a revelation. Because we are from the same village I just told God you made a wrong choice; you should have asked me who is a good girl and it is not this girl. I
did not want to tell her. In the first place, she was young at 25 years then. I didn’t want to marry a baby. As far as I know, 25 years is what you call the end of the age of confusion. I waited for two years but I told God I would marry her only on one condition. She had written a book she called, Mother I have found a man. She walked up to me and asked me what I would do if God revealed a girl to me. I told her I will tell the girl to apply and she retorted: ‘Don’t you think you are arrogant?’ I replied, ‘No just say I have
self-respect; being a preacher if I propose to you now you’ll tell the whole world that the man of God is chasing me. Then she said what if I’m the girl? I said to her; then tell me you are the person. She wrote a very beautiful book and was very honest. She said God had revealed to her that I will be her husband. We have been married for 35 years and we have quarrelled only twice; being a confirmation, an affirmation and
attestation that she was the right choice.
By
Dr Uma Ukpai.