Is Masturbation Really a Sin?

I made a solemn pact with myself never to undress a girl with my eyes. (Job 31:1 MSG)

Masturbation is simply defined as “Manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure.”Singles and married people alike often believe
that there is nothing wrong with masturbation. There is a book that
says, “95 percent of boys masturbate and the remaining 5 percent lied.” Invariably, that is
like saying that everybody masturbates. Today, not just boys, but men, girls and women masturbate. Now, some Christians even do so, and with a lot of excuses why they should. Some offer excuses that since God says ‘Don’t fornicate,” and we really are obeying God, so masturbation must be God’s way of relieving
the pressure build up. Could that be true? Some pastors are as confused about the subject as their members on the issue, and some also pointedly say there is nothing wrong with it. This has sent a confused signal to the body of Christ, thereby making an average
believer who might have been struggling with masturbation to have enough reason to continue. Now, the major issue is that
masturbation is progressive and what satisfied you the last time will not the next time! Today,masturbation has gone to another level from hand stimulation to use of sex toys that were produced for that specific purpose. A lot of folk are addicted to masturbation; they go to bed with dildos, vibrators, and the likes. There are human dolls built to respond like humans, there are several masturbators which are a mockery to the dignity of the Homo Sapien! So, an average believer who has been
told nothing is wrong dabbles into it, and before he knows it, he is hooked on pornography and other perversions, and that is the problem! He will not be satisfied after a while, and this is also why a lot of people found themselves in sickening habits like bestiality, bondage sex and so on! When you
give the devil an inch, he will take a mile! But is it true the New Testament never addressed the issue of masturbation because
God wanted us to masturbate? I don’t think so. As far as I am concerned, that is like saying, “the bible didn’t say we should not cook our rice with rat poison because he wanted us to commit suicide! Now I am going to give you just one scripture. Let’s bear in mind that for one to masturbate: There must be a thought process, a mental
image of a man or woman or sex scene or sex pictures, which one focuses on, and then together with the manual stimulation, that brings one to an orgasm. This then means that for one to masturbate; there has to be a mental undressing of the object/person in question, and a mental sexual experience!

Now here is what Jesus said:
But I say unto you, That whosoever
looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. (Mat 5:28 KJV)

This knocks off masturbation completely. The process that leads to masturbation is what Jesus Christ equated with adultery in the heart! The message is clear! We will stop here today. In coming devotions, we will be discussing more on this subject. If you find yourself in this act, sincerely, God does not condemn you! He would not condone it either! In order for
you to enjoy God's fullness of blessings, He expects you to stay away from sin, so why don't you call upon Him now to help you? He is there waiting to respond to you!

What exactly is true love? How do I know if someone really loves me?

2Sa 13:1-2 KJV
(1) And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of
David loved her.

(2) And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her. What exactly is true love? How do I know if a man truly loves me? How do I know if a lady
truly loves me. While putting in mind that there are so many definitions and perceptions of what true love is, it is pertinent
to remind ourselves that true love can only be defined by Scriptural standards. Why is this so? God is love. True love can only comes
from anyone that really knows God. A man that doesn’t know God is incapable of showing true love. He may be caring and nice in your own
standards, but as long as He doesn’t know God, he doesn’t understand the dynamics of true
love. That is why we will be going back into the Bible to see the true definition of love. In our devotion this morning, the story of Amnon
comes to mind. Verse one of the above scripture tells us that Amnon was in love with his sister.
Verse two tells us that she was so vexed with love that he fell sick. It was no longer a soul’s battle, it became rottenness in his bones.
From the above, one will naturally conclude that this is genuine love. What do you think? Was the love genuine? For him to fall sick, he
must really be in love! Isn’t that how some men come around you and truthfully tell you that they can’t eat again, sleep again because
of love? Can we conclude about a man’s love for a woman by virtue of his being “vexed” to the point of sickness?

Look at a few translations:
2Sa 13:2 MSG
Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her….
Can obsession equal true love?

2Sa 13:2 AMP
And Amnon was so troubled that he fell sick… Can being troubled equal true love?

2Sa 13:2 BBE
And he was so deeply in love that he became ill…
Can being deeply in love equal true love?

2Sa 13:2 NIV
Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar…
Can being frustrated equal true love?
Well, before we conclude, let’s see what happened   in a few verses away.

2Sa 13:14 KJV
Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and
lay with her.
Here is Message translation:

2Sa 13:14 MSG
But he wouldn't listen. Being much stronger than she, he raped her.
This couldn’t be true love! How would you rape someone you profess to love? Something
is not quite right there. Sometimes all he wants is sex. That is not love! Sometimes, all she wants is your money, that is not true love! All Amnon wanted was to satisfy that rush of adrenalin. He went so far, thinking he was in love, but once his lust was pacified, love vanished into thin air. Love is willing to wait, lust demands immediate satisfaction. Never forget that. True love will not insist that you compromise your virtue. True love will protect. True love will honour.
True love will respect. So what more is true love? Amnon feigned sickness and deceived his father
True love will not pretend, deceive or trap you. He was never interested in the food. Amnon refused to consider the consequences.
True love is not stupid . True love stands to reason in respect to God’s standard Amnon’s love for Tamar was not natural. It was
incest. True love will not enter into perversion to prove itself. Amnon forced Tamar and raped her, despitevthat Tamar called him ‘brother’ True love will protect. It will not violate your sanctity.
Amnon hated Tamar afterward
True love is not fickle, instant or temporal. It is enduring and lasting. True love does not go back and forth. It is stable. Even when
tried, it still stands strong. I pray for you today, that God will guide you,vlead and help you to differentiate between true love and lust. You will not miss it in Jesus name!

Three things about sex you might not have been told by your parents while growing up

Most parents never discussed sex with their children while growing up. This is not because they didn't want to, but because most parents
find it awkward or embarrassing to bring up such topics. The major challenge here is that children are curious. Whether you teach them
or not, they will probe and learn it.
Once parents do not take their place and rightly inform their children, they will learn it from different avenues. The problem with this is that most of these other places they learn from are defective. They might learn it from
friends who don't know any better. Some others learn it from pornography. The reason why this issue becomes important is that the first encounter with learning about sex either by information or in a pragmatic way will always remain indelible in a young mind.
It is for this reason that parents must take their place and not leave their children to subjective and warped sexualised opinions
rushing at them from all ends.
We must not allow these young minds to have their first lectures on sex from television or films. Become friends with your children.
Don't tell them lies. Lies like if you allow anybody to touch your breast, you will get pregnant. The moment they discover you lied, they will explore more, and they will cease to see you as someone that should be confided in when there are issues. Become your children's
friend.

Here are three things you might not have been told.
1. Pre-marital sex can lead to death
even though it looks harmless.

1 Corinthians 10:8 KJV
Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand. It may not even lead to physical death immediately, but the stark reality is that every time you violate your body and the principles of God, something dies in you.

2. Sex is originally meant to be a the blessing of the Wedding Night
A couple's first time is supposed to be a special moment on the wedding night. The two become one flesh as the marriage is
consummated on the wedding night. This special moment comes with its blessing from God.

1 Corinthians 6:16-17 MSG
(16)  There's more to sex than mere skin on skin. Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact. As written in Scripture, "The two
become one."
(17)  Since we want to become spiritually one with the Master, we must not pursue the kind of sex that avoids commitment and intimacy, leaving us more lonely than ever--the kind of sex that can never "become one." This is important for those who are still virgins to hold on to their virtues in the midst of opposing and contradictory environment. I get
asked a lot of times by young ladies who are virgins how to handle the tremendous pressures they face. If you are no longer a
virgin, this does not mean you will not be blessed. On the contrary, if you stay away from sexual sins, God will make all things new.
God will not exactly turn you into a virgin, but He would not also consult your past in order to determine your future.

3. Sex outside marriage will weaken you. If you continue to live in sexual sin, your spirit through which you contact God will get weaker and weaker. It will eventually dull your sensitivity to the things of the spirit and your
conscience might end up being seared. Once your conscience is seared, you will no longer see anything wrong, and yet, in the spirit realm where you are meant to rule and reign, you will be subdued. Romans 8:13 AMP
For if you live according to [the dictates of] the flesh, you will surely die. But if through the power of the [Holy] Spirit you are
[habitually] putting to death (making extinct, deadening) the [evil] deeds prompted by the
body, you shall [really and genuinely] live forever. Habitual sin will make nonsense of your
placement in God. It will slow you down financially emotionally and spiritually. Stay chaste. Stay away from pre- marital sex or adultery as the case may be. The consequences are too debilitating. If you're already entangled, GOD will not condemn you, run to Him now, He will embrace you with his loving gracious eternal arms and He will save you from sin and this untoward generation.

Understanding sex and the law of progression

Some people seem to believe that
sex is a mysterious thing and that they cannot control themselves. Sex like any other thing that relates to human existence is governed by a law. Understand the law and you are delivered from the trap of sexual sins. (whether you are single or not) Sex and the law of progression states that, “Intimacy will increase between two people who are in love (and the last level of intimacy will no longer satisfy) until a boundary is set to control it.” The law explains the progressive nature of sex. In other words before the sexual act is committed, you have enough time and opportunity to stop or prevent it. The mistake singles or married people make (in case of adultery), is that they set the law in motion and then watch helplessly as the law takes effect. There is always a point of no- return as regards sex. It is a point you get to and you are sexually aroused. At this point all sense of judgement, reasoning and wisdom are dead. Please do not get to this point and start looking for a way out. It is almost too late. Understand that sexual sins are easy to handle if you understand this law and decide NOT to set the law in motion. Nip it in the bud. That is why kissing, (whether French or German) heavy petting and necking, fondling, caressing and the like will get you into trouble. It may not be the first time, but it will eventually. Kissing is like starting a journey whose destination is sex. Do not expect a magic to happen or an angel or a mysterious being to help you pull your pants up when you allowed it to go down. And do not say it is the devil because the devil does not help people undress nor does he
lock doors. Now is the time to take a stand and make a decision. The Bible says’ Flee ‘ all appearances of evil. Flee, do not meddle with
sexual activities nor put yourself in
compromisingly tight situations.
And when the Bible says 'Flee,' it is not the time to say, 'Let us reason together!'

The Real Purpose of Sex

God created sex to be enjoyed within the marital sanctity. The devil took this and perverted that truth. Today, homosexuals and paedophiles are pushing for rights. The truth of God's word is being contested, resisted and opposed like never before. But you see, God's word cannot be bound! In the romantic novels, movies and soap operas, sex is always painted as sweet. In pornographic films, sex is presented as full of ecstasy. This is often presented in the context of cheating, adultery and the likes. All forms of sexual perversion are presented as sweet. What you may not know is that a lot
of porn actresses are drugged to act these parts. After their filming, most of them rush to the conveniences to throw up. They are forced to continue because of the lure of money. People are deceived into believing that fornication, adultery, oral sex, sleeping with a prostitute and the likes are okay. The Bible never disagrees with the short, temporal
sweetness that fornication and adultery may present. Quickie sex with a wrong person, with a married person looks so sweet, but
honey, watch out. The Bible does not mince words. Think about chewing gravel. Yes, sex outside marriage or with the wrong person will bring with it its attendant consequences. This kind of sex will end up in anguish, bitterness,
guilt, dirty feelings and so much more. Cheating on your spouse may look fun or sweet especially when you trying to get back at
your spouse, but you are planting seeds, and when your harvest comes, you wouldn’t have nice time. As a single, you give in to the pressure of sex because you want to keep him? You will eventually lose him, because God’s principles
have been violated. Stop opening your legs, life and destiny to people you hardly know! You can patiently wait to give yourself to that right person, and oh what a joy! If you are already sexually active, it is not too late to repent and ask God to restore you. That is the beautiful thing about God, You can start again in Him. If you are married, please enjoy sex to its
fullest. Never deny your spouse of sex. Real sweet sex can only be found in the marriage context, and how sweet, fulfilling, enriching
and empowering it is. Conclusively, you should know that God will
not judge us generally, so what the trends are and what most people are doing is not a license to join them. We will be judged individually. The implication for this is that God still expects you to follow His principles and other it right, not only to make heaven
and have eternal life, but to have victory here on earth and also to enjoy the maximum blessings that God has for you. I pray for you this day, that every distractions be removed from your way in Jesus name! I pray that God will send that very help you need your way today to help you stay on side of God. You will not miss God's best for your life in Jesus name!

Choosing A Life Partner

Choosing a life partner is the biggest decision you'll make outside of choosing to accept Jesus Christ as Savior. I've met with scores of couples for premarital counseling through the years. And one of the first points I try to get across to them is that "desire" does not equal love. Desire may be illustrated by a young
person who tells you they can't live without you, that they're miserable, and that life seems colorless and empty when you're not around. That may be a form of love, but it's not the sort of love that will hold a marriage together through the years. While they may feel they "need" you today, it's possible that five months
from now you'll no longer meet their "need," and they'll find that they "need" someone else. What I tell these young couples is that love is based on commitment, and that everything you do is to fulfill, satisfy, and
serve the one you love. Real love doesn't enter a relationship with an expectation to just receive. It enters a relationship to give and give and give. Let me illustrate how deceptive the world's definition of "love" can be. Picture a young couple who has been dating for a few weeks. It isn't long before this young man tells his girlfriend how much he loves her and how difficult it is to keep his hands off her. Pressing her to engage in a
physical relationship, he explains that he "loves her so much" he can no longer restrain himself, he want to defile her through fornication (which many people refer to as premarital sex). The truth is, any young woman who hears that line should realize that the young man doesn't love her too much... he loves her too little. Actually, he's not thinking about her. He's only thinking about himself. He would never rob innocence and purity from one he truly loves. His insistence on a physical relationship only proves one thing: he loves himself much more than he loves her. What really brings peace to a relationship? How do you choose a marriage partner? Let me leave you with just a few thoughts.

Make sure your life partner loves God more than he or she loves you. Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Matthew 22:37-39, NIV) It is so important to observe your partner's love for God. Why? Because in time, the way he or she loves and serves Him will be reflected in the way he or she loves and serves you.

Make sure your life partner is a person of character: "Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord." (Psalm 119:1, NIV) Men and women of character are trustworthy in all they do and have an appetite for righteousness. They will keep their word no matter what the cost. Make sure your life partner is kind to others: "And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32, NKJV) If you don't see your partner treat others
with kindness and grace, in time he or she will be treating you the same way.

Make sure to note the way your life partner dresses. "And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." (1 Timothy 2:9-10, NLT) I'm not saying your partner should wear a gunnysack and combat boots to cover herself. I'm just saying the modest things she wears reveal a lot about her heart. Make sure your life partner treats his or her parents with honor and respect: "Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise." (Ephesians 6:2, NKJV) I have never yet met a young person who is truly successful or blessed who doesn't love his or her parents.

Make sure your life partner is respected by others: "Choose a good reputation over great riches, for being held in high esteem is better than having silver or gold." (Proverbs 22:1, NLT) Be wise about how you do this, but I would recommend that you discreetly ask a few people what they have observed about the person you're considering. Pay as much attention to their hesitations as to their words!

Make sure your life partner is not flirtatious: "Smooth words may hide a wicked heart, just as a pretty glaze covers a common clay pot." (Proverbs 26:23, NLT) A person's actions and looks speak volumes, so be advised, Son, and be wise.

Make sure you understand the true priorities of your life partner's life: "Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity." (1 Timothy 4:12, NLT) Watch closely to see signs of your partner's love, faith, and purity. Has this person put God first? Does this person live to serve others? Is this person selfish?

Make sure you know whom your life partner's close friends are: "Do not be misled. 'Bad company corrupts good character.'" (1 Corinthians 15:33, NIV)

Make sure your life partner is not contentious or violent: "Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred." (Proverbs 15:17, NIV) If you're picking up a lot of unhappiness or anger in this person, then be warned in advance.

Make sure you ask the Lord for discernment. "Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul... May your good Spirit lead me on level ground." (Psalm 143:8,10, NIV) "Trust in the lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6, NLT)

Make sure you pray, pray, pray: "Show me the path where I should walk, O lord; point out the right road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you." (Psalm 25:4-5, NLT)

May God help you in Jesus name.

By
Pastor Bimbo Odukoya

Before You Get Married Part 6

Whenever we have a church full, 99.9 present would have come for one problem or the other. Some may have lost their jobs; others have shaky marriages or have been driven to seek for God because of bad health or unfruitful business. Time has come for men to look at marriage the way God looks at marriage and bringing out the high points of the Bible, showing people what the Bible says and that is that a day will come in the last minute when people will have itchy ears and not be willing to listen to sound doctrines. A man that is not happy with his marriage will think of changing his partner and we are saying that the Bible is opposed to it because you don’t change your partner or your spouse 1 Cor 7:12-13 . Rom 7:3 . Instead, you change yourself because to change your partner will take you changing yourself. It is amazing how men and women try to bind others because they feel they are the proper demon they see troubling their life. If you intend to marry a woman who has no emotion, no bad attitude, no problem then we should have ordered for a robot. Therefore, do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for, the psychiatric and the insane hospitals will help you. Boy oh boy, what counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. Do you know that it is sometimes essential for a husband and a wife to quarrel because they get to know each other better? We should also know that a good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Men and brethren, a man and his wife are one. God does not recognize a man and his wife as two entities. God sees them as one. Gen 2:24 . I have seen couples after getting married there are no more elements of surprise gifts. The last gift they gave each other was their wedding ring. We should have elements of surprises in marriage and gifts that will encourage the other person. But when people are hardly surprised, when people lose their capacity for emotion, then, they have become lepers because a leper has no ability to feel any pain and God uses pain to correct and instruct people. When your nerves are all dead, you are as dead as the dead. In marriage it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages; we should daily desire that God will heal and strengthened our marriages. Healing is restoration. Healing is God restoring the nerves of the leper and giving him the ability to feel things and to feel pain and feel cold. Healing is God restoring the gift He gave you at the beginning which you have lost through ill-health, through wrong companionship or through carelessness and recklessness. That is what we call healing and it is restoration which translates to God giving you what you lost. Healing is God granting you creative ideas to make your marriage a heaven on earth. It is therefore interesting to note that all weddings are similar, but every marriage is different, when your friends comes and tell you how sweet her marriage is, most of us will go home to create third world war in our homes. Learn to trust your partner and trust God. Anything that causes us to turn to God and lean harder on Him is an asset, not a liability. Your wife or husband is not a liability as some people think. Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal. The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together. A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. How often do we communicate with each other, ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage or in friendship, is conversation. Each decision we take everyday is conceived from one of two sources; the flesh or the spirit. As such we must be alert and seek God’s guidance. The enemy may come in different guises to sidetrack us to destabilize our marriage but God will never disappoint those who put their trust in Him and have circumcised their ears and thoughts. Depend on Him in your marriage and believe in His timing, don’t rush into marriage because of peer or family pressure. He made the world out of nothing and needs no help to fix and give you a future.